And, as an adult, when you say something to a child about them, you never really know what they're going to hear or what they're going to do with it. Sometimes when you point out a child's distinctive trait, they then feel like they always have to be that way. Then if you say nothing about them, they might not feel seen or loved. I think maybe the most effective way is to stay with "I" statements, like, "I see you and appreciate you. You mean a lot to me." And then ask them what they are thinking and feeling.
And, as an adult, when you say something to a child about them, you never really know what they're going to hear or what they're going to do with it. Sometimes when you point out a child's distinctive trait, they then feel like they always have to be that way. Then if you say nothing about them, they might not feel seen or loved. I think maybe the most effective way is to stay with "I" statements, like, "I see you and appreciate you. You mean a lot to me." And then ask them what they are thinking and feeling.